Human-Ball
What do you think a ball is? Being kicked here and there, it can't control its way to go. How about a human-ball being "kicked"? Even more poorer as he has to do what he doesn't want and seek no help. But life is always like that, you won't find the answer easily and directly. Well, it doesn't matter as you are now old enough to find the solution yourself.
However, what is the responsiblity of those you ask? If they are teachers, they should help you in some ways. I don't mean they should give you the answer directly but at least they should offer you a certain degree help because they are TEACHERS.
The more you studied, the more you will know that the behaviours of some upper level people are different from what you expected. Well, I may be too naive to say that. In fact all people will wear certain degree "masks". So, I need to grow up and should accept the REAL world.
I am a bit disappointed when I seek help from some teachers, they either say something to direct you to other areas or too protective to say nothing about the related matter. This happens all the time when I ask for help. I feel helpless and hopeless. The only solution is to depend on myself. As a student, you need to be self-motivated. Knowledge is located everywhere, you just need to take as you like. So, the higher level you study, the less (no) help from teachers. Poco a poco, the knowledge is your original work and you will become a scholar later.
A few months ago, my favourite professor told me he will go to another university to teach, so I can't go with him as that university didn't give me an offer. So I decided to stay here as there is still a hope. But now....a risk is here (in Chinese, it contains "danger" and "chance"). Life is not hopeless here, but it will be my last hope, how can I choose? Finish thesis here no matter under the supervision of X and Y? or leave here to go to US?
Sigh! Man always works for both "MONEY" and "WOMAN". Why I stay here is also following this rule: money I earned will be for my later study use; and Alfred, one of my best friend I knew during my music study, said I stay here is for two, one is in 3/F, another is in 2/F. (Haha!!!) He continued to add immediately that I have two places for work, one in Audio Library, another is in Rm 209. This composer really modulates so fast without any preparation! He said this is atonal work. His response is quite fast now =)